Dear imaginary friend,
Hey buddy, how long has it been since our last chat? I still remembered that night you asked me not to give up when I look into the mirror. There are times that we used to talk together. You and Me. Happy ones, sad ones, excited ones, and of course very much critical ones.
Many people won't know that I have you since like forever. Perhaps, you are the one supporting me and make me walk through pains and tears. You are the reason who I am today. Not taking drugs, no scar on my wrist, not wondering outside, no ta-too, not a alcoholic, not a runaway daughter.
I'd put you in different forms, my favourite lilac bunny, a green mousey, the LION, the teddy princess, my colour pencils, the drawing book, my pink fat tumbler, silver anklets with bells and now.. You are You. Because I want you to be you. Fair and square. Just like the way you want Me to be Me. So you will be every where whenever I needed you.
They don't understand how an only girl grow up. With no siblings to play with, no one to talk to and the hardest part is be what your parents wanted you to be. A thought can kill a person, yes. This happens a lot to me. But you hold me so tight and won't let this happen to me.
Mommy would never know why since pre-school, the principal, everybody remembered me as a talkative girl. I practice my conversation with you, my friend. (that's our little secret *winked*) All our adventures and funny dialogues. Oh, there's a movie recently shot called TED, it pretty much shows how our "thing" work. This BFF thing. Just that, the teddy bear is still a furry teddy bear till now. Haha.. You are much more blessed in this sense.
Last night you asked me to find LOVE. Yes, I will. I promise you. I will.
Thank you for being there again.
Infinity love,
XtinaYWY
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
平行线
人
就像线一样
明明是一条直线
有时候
被外在力扭曲了
弯到一个点时
又有一股内在力
会把我们推回出去
控制着自己的线
已经是一辈子
不容易的事了
人与人、线与线之间
更为奇妙
有些人
自然而然的有许多的交集
有些人
用尽千方百计的制造一个交叉点
而我们
只想一心的做
平行线
奈何
很多事情都是
超出自己能力所能操控
所以
我们就继续努力的
维持着我们的
平行线
Monday, November 5, 2012
锁以说...
话说，这几天我都乖乖的利用放工时间收拾房间（对，这不是我的作风。但是我却很干脆的丢了很多东西）。这项历史性的计划，连额娘也被我不寻常的举动吓了一下。整个阴天又下雨潮湿的周末，一桶衣服怎么晾也不会干。
终于，今早起身看见太阳。好！！！！ FINALLY!!!! 我用最快的速度，跳下床，开门把原本晾在车房里的衣服都推出去，让太阳好好的晒晒... 因为还有第二桶的白色衣服们在冲凉房里，所以只是把锁头给搭着..... 白衣们也晾好时，我把锁上了门。 这看似日常生活里不经意必做的动作，却给了我个哭笑不得的早上。
选了工作服，约了晚餐伴，拿了苹果，装了水，嗯，拿好车匙，出门噜...
（心里还想着要把衣服给推回进来，选什么鞋， 需不需要带电话charger.....)
当钥匙如常的插入锁头，我随手的扭了扭，咦，做么没开？再扭， 扭来扭去，转来转去，差不多要使出吃奶的力气时...... 我认了。好，这锁头坏了，在我什么都准备好的星期一早上，great!
我就站着，怎么办？出不去，也进不来。十分钟前，不都好好的吗？必须冷静，不能坐下（一定要想办法，不然有什么事情怎么办？）冷静，深呼吸 ， 让大脑做事....
快快快... 脑里的细胞在压力的催化之下.. 启了些作用。
1。 看有没有spare key。 嗯，是没有这支。上次问过爸了。（此路无效）
2。 前门不通，还有后门。 （叮咚，叮咚，行啊）
寻宝一样的挖到了后门钥匙，把所有该带去上班的东西拿齐， 快速度的到后门去。对钥匙声和金属声特别敏感的小可比，难以控制它的警讯吠声....搞到我也有点做贼心虚。到了后门，哇唠诶~~~ 这门是多久没开了？不管了，排除万难到了最后关头不能放弃！我以最敏捷的动作，速度，力气，开了后门，成功逃出。
在上班的路程，才不惊不险的联络额娘。
我：妈，爸在吗？（我都是call妈找爸的，同一句话不用讲2次）
额娘：在看工人做工，什么事？
我：哦，我们家那个锁头开不到.......... bla bla bla.....
分享了我的惊险记，还很阿Q的安慰她，幸好锁头在出门前开不到。万一出门后，回家时才开不到，我真的是有家归不得了。
挂电话前，额娘只留了一句：我会叫daddy call 你。（完）
到公司后，爸打来。他问了情况后，我从他几个建议中得到解决方案了！剪锁器在 xxx !! 只是以我一个小娘子的力气，怎么剪？脑海里不停重复爸的话：叫一个有力的男人帮你.... （我最信任的只有他了）
一个人，就是这样，每每遇到问题都要让自己逃离困境再想办法解决。女生应该都要有survivor 的能力。如果不是社会这么乱，家里又被进过贼，爸也不会千锁万锁的换来一个安稳。以后，希望一些超厉害的发明家用AI 创造一个认主人的门，钥匙锁头就留给博物院！
总结：如果今天拿emergency leave的 原因是：locked myself at home (key cannot open the main gate padlock) 是不是有点白痴？我不至于到这个level.....
终于，今早起身看见太阳。好！！！！ FINALLY!!!! 我用最快的速度，跳下床，开门把原本晾在车房里的衣服都推出去，让太阳好好的晒晒... 因为还有第二桶的白色衣服们在冲凉房里，所以只是把锁头给搭着..... 白衣们也晾好时，我把锁上了门。 这看似日常生活里不经意必做的动作，却给了我个哭笑不得的早上。
选了工作服，约了晚餐伴，拿了苹果，装了水，嗯，拿好车匙，出门噜...
（心里还想着要把衣服给推回进来，选什么鞋， 需不需要带电话charger.....)
当钥匙如常的插入锁头，我随手的扭了扭，咦，做么没开？再扭， 扭来扭去，转来转去，差不多要使出吃奶的力气时...... 我认了。好，这锁头坏了，在我什么都准备好的星期一早上，great!
我就站着，怎么办？出不去，也进不来。十分钟前，不都好好的吗？必须冷静，不能坐下（一定要想办法，不然有什么事情怎么办？）冷静，深呼吸 ， 让大脑做事....
快快快... 脑里的细胞在压力的催化之下.. 启了些作用。
1。 看有没有spare key。 嗯，是没有这支。上次问过爸了。（此路无效）
2。 前门不通，还有后门。 （叮咚，叮咚，行啊）
寻宝一样的挖到了后门钥匙，把所有该带去上班的东西拿齐， 快速度的到后门去。对钥匙声和金属声特别敏感的小可比，难以控制它的警讯吠声....搞到我也有点做贼心虚。到了后门，哇唠诶~~~ 这门是多久没开了？不管了，排除万难到了最后关头不能放弃！我以最敏捷的动作，速度，力气，开了后门，成功逃出。
在上班的路程，才不惊不险的联络额娘。
我：妈，爸在吗？（我都是call妈找爸的，同一句话不用讲2次）
额娘：在看工人做工，什么事？
我：哦，我们家那个锁头开不到.......... bla bla bla.....
分享了我的惊险记，还很阿Q的安慰她，幸好锁头在出门前开不到。万一出门后，回家时才开不到，我真的是有家归不得了。
挂电话前，额娘只留了一句：我会叫daddy call 你。（完）
到公司后，爸打来。他问了情况后，我从他几个建议中得到解决方案了！剪锁器在 xxx !! 只是以我一个小娘子的力气，怎么剪？脑海里不停重复爸的话：叫一个有力的男人帮你.... （我最信任的只有他了）
一个人，就是这样，每每遇到问题都要让自己逃离困境再想办法解决。女生应该都要有survivor 的能力。如果不是社会这么乱，家里又被进过贼，爸也不会千锁万锁的换来一个安稳。以后，希望一些超厉害的发明家用AI 创造一个认主人的门，钥匙锁头就留给博物院！
总结：如果今天拿emergency leave的 原因是：locked myself at home (key cannot open the main gate padlock) 是不是有点白痴？我不至于到这个level.....
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
A piece of the long weekend
Well, quite weird to start of a day. A MONDAY. With a blog post entry and a blank mind. After a long weekend (god blessed Malaysia with plenty of public holidays that falls on a Friday this year), we working young adults either got drunk or stunt. However I don't belong to both, sadly.
Let's check how blank was my long weekend. Starting last Thursday. Cousin sister pick me and queen up to celebrate her lovely chicken little (fat version) son birthday. Gotta eat fried chicken wings, nuggets, fries, hot dog etc. Yes the list goes on and it's a kid's birthday and I enjoyed the food for like 30 minutes. After that, milk pick me up for next round. Which is a little passive mode on because I'd been going to karaoke for the past few weeks in October. (1st week in Sarawak working - NA, 2nd week - with SSgroup, 3rd week - KL gals) and here comes the last week 2 person in a room. And I sang for like 2 and a half hours!!!! OMG. I only realized it when I walked out of the room. It's maniac.
Spend 5 hours in MV onSaturday (corrected by milk) it's a Friday! (you see how blurred I am, can't even keep track of days, not to mentioned time) . Travel fair, settled the ground trip for Bali for milk's birthday. For me, I just a want a weekend. To relax and some quality time with friend and nature. I think it has been sometime for a trip like this. Back to a place that I've been before and feel it differently. The previous re-visiting trip was really a bad one. *mute* Drove back to Sban in a almost fell asleep mode. Bright sunny day, cold air cons, songs in the earphone (Vivaldi, Bach, Mozart, Beethoven playing randomly in this travelling player, darn)...
Saturday early half was quite emotional. Done with a book, Da Mo Yao. OMG. The hero for the drama is totally 10000000% what I imagine from the story!!! I have to watch this drama once it's out!!!! The General Huo is a charm, heart beat speeder!! No doubt I have a t hing for arrogant and overbearing guy. After all the imagination happiness and sadness and tears and laughter, cousin sister drag me out for a family affair foot massage. Watching tvb dramas while the China masseur were too busy talking to each other. How nice if I have a masseur at home, I'm still in my fantasy of the Han Dynasty and still in love with General Huo. lol. 1 hour passed. My future cousin brother in law spend us all in a famous decent restaurant nearby which I'd dine in twice for some special reason. Looking at the same dishes, there's some moment and some dialogues recalled. It was nice to re-look into that situation. Funny yet special one. Yes, he did came into the picture.
Finally Sunday's here. After morning prayer for deceased grandma's birthday. Comes an unexpected lunch. Japanese. Problem solving. Failed story telling. Persuading. and many cups of green tea. I'd never eat that much of Edamame in a meal before. Terrible. I mean food taste better when it's shared than solo right?
Last but not least, Sunday night typical Chinese type of concert cum donation for the Chinese schools. Sifu reserved 3 seats for us and in return I'd to represent a donor for the donors lighting ceremony. Met Queenie and her royalty family. Took a quick snap at the ladies entrance. The bonus for this whole event - keep in touch with old friend. Highlight of the event, Oppa GangNam Style!! Yes this evil song has been playing in the world since it's created by the Koreans and a maniac sang this weekly in the karaoke room with Korean characters. Eh~~~ sexy lady~~~
YooHoo. Almost lunch time. Brain refresh and it reminds me how wonderful the weekend is. Time with family, time with myself and least expected surprise. It all depends on the attitude that you choose you want to be. For me, it's just another decision making process. To be or not to be. End of story.
Let's check how blank was my long weekend. Starting last Thursday. Cousin sister pick me and queen up to celebrate her lovely chicken little (fat version) son birthday. Gotta eat fried chicken wings, nuggets, fries, hot dog etc. Yes the list goes on and it's a kid's birthday and I enjoyed the food for like 30 minutes. After that, milk pick me up for next round. Which is a little passive mode on because I'd been going to karaoke for the past few weeks in October. (1st week in Sarawak working - NA, 2nd week - with SSgroup, 3rd week - KL gals) and here comes the last week 2 person in a room. And I sang for like 2 and a half hours!!!! OMG. I only realized it when I walked out of the room. It's maniac.
Spend 5 hours in MV on
Saturday early half was quite emotional. Done with a book, Da Mo Yao. OMG. The hero for the drama is totally 10000000% what I imagine from the story!!! I have to watch this drama once it's out!!!! The General Huo is a charm, heart beat speeder!! No doubt I have a t hing for arrogant and overbearing guy. After all the imagination happiness and sadness and tears and laughter, cousin sister drag me out for a family affair foot massage. Watching tvb dramas while the China masseur were too busy talking to each other. How nice if I have a masseur at home, I'm still in my fantasy of the Han Dynasty and still in love with General Huo. lol. 1 hour passed. My future cousin brother in law spend us all in a famous decent restaurant nearby which I'd dine in twice for some special reason. Looking at the same dishes, there's some moment and some dialogues recalled. It was nice to re-look into that situation. Funny yet special one. Yes, he did came into the picture.
Finally Sunday's here. After morning prayer for deceased grandma's birthday. Comes an unexpected lunch. Japanese. Problem solving. Failed story telling. Persuading. and many cups of green tea. I'd never eat that much of Edamame in a meal before. Terrible. I mean food taste better when it's shared than solo right?
Last but not least, Sunday night typical Chinese type of concert cum donation for the Chinese schools. Sifu reserved 3 seats for us and in return I'd to represent a donor for the donors lighting ceremony. Met Queenie and her royalty family. Took a quick snap at the ladies entrance. The bonus for this whole event - keep in touch with old friend. Highlight of the event, Oppa GangNam Style!! Yes this evil song has been playing in the world since it's created by the Koreans and a maniac sang this weekly in the karaoke room with Korean characters. Eh~~~ sexy lady~~~
YooHoo. Almost lunch time. Brain refresh and it reminds me how wonderful the weekend is. Time with family, time with myself and least expected surprise. It all depends on the attitude that you choose you want to be. For me, it's just another decision making process. To be or not to be. End of story.
Monday, October 22, 2012
空瓶
我想，再次听到你的消息，耳边还有这首应景的歌，我惊讶..
因为，我并没有流泪，嘴角是上扬的...
很好，你过得很好...
我也很好...
刚刚决定到岛国去了..
回到蓝蓝的大海..
我需要这片蓝色，清澈的h2o..
因为我是瓶子..
这几年，我装下了，希望，爱，期待，恨，痛，失望..
还有数不尽的眼泪..
够了..
是时候，一点一滴的倒出来..
从新，从零，从空..
再开始...
对于未来，不曾假设，不再安排...
很多事情，根本不在我控制之内..
但是，只有我自己能决定把你放下...
而且，我向前走了...
如果有人问我，我们是否还是朋友？
是，我们是...
如果有人再问我， 会不会参加你的婚礼？
会，我会...
因为你是那个，让瓶子有机会再次 空出她满满的世界，再次接受这世界的人...
因为，我并没有流泪，嘴角是上扬的...
很好，你过得很好...
我也很好...
刚刚决定到岛国去了..
回到蓝蓝的大海..
我需要这片蓝色，清澈的h2o..
因为我是瓶子..
这几年，我装下了，希望，爱，期待，恨，痛，失望..
还有数不尽的眼泪..
够了..
是时候，一点一滴的倒出来..
从新，从零，从空..
再开始...
对于未来，不曾假设，不再安排...
很多事情，根本不在我控制之内..
但是，只有我自己能决定把你放下...
而且，我向前走了...
如果有人问我，我们是否还是朋友？
是，我们是...
如果有人再问我， 会不会参加你的婚礼？
会，我会...
因为你是那个，让瓶子有机会再次 空出她满满的世界，再次接受这世界的人...
Friday, October 19, 2012
留給這世上我最愛的人
电梯里，早餐后，从食堂到部门的几层楼的几秒....
似曾熟悉的旋律，歌词.. 印象里的是把女生......
但是，这把男生唱的如此细腻，沧桑...
“離開這世上我最愛的人 從此不必掛念我 不必嗟怨命運不幸 愛可不是憐憫”
曾国辉的广东歌，不妨一听...
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